You gotta love Christmas

What I’ve eaten in the past three days.

Christmas Day

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and truffle oil. Bucks Fizz. Coffee.

Lunch: Smoked salmon. The mother-in-law’s Christmas turkey, ham & trimmings (lovely). Christmas pudding. Wine. Chocolates. Coffee.

Dinner: Sandwich of the mother’s turkey (equally lovely), stuffing & tomato. Sour cream & onion crisps. Coke. Chocolates.

Yesterday

Breakfast: Slice of seed cake. Two cups of coffee.

Lunch: Cold turkey, ham & spiced beef (the mother’s again – yum). Veg. Roast potatoes. Wine. Chocolates. Coffee.

Dinner: Cocktail sausages. Pistachio nuts. Pretzels. Beer.

Today

Breakfast: Soluble Solpadeine. Dioralyte. Half packet of chocolate fingers. Two cups of tea.

Lunch: Crunchy bread roll with turkey, stuffing, mayo & relish. The other half of the packet of chocolate fingers. Coffee.

Dinner: Nothing as of yet. Really not hungry.

Throughout the three days

Enough vodka & tonic to float an armada. Enough cigarettes to push my voice down an octave.

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