What I’ve eaten in the past three days.
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and truffle oil. Bucks Fizz. Coffee.
Lunch: Smoked salmon. The mother-in-law’s Christmas turkey, ham & trimmings (lovely). Christmas pudding. Wine. Chocolates. Coffee.
Dinner: Sandwich of the mother’s turkey (equally lovely), stuffing & tomato. Sour cream & onion crisps. Coke. Chocolates.
Breakfast: Slice of seed cake. Two cups of coffee.
Lunch: Cold turkey, ham & spiced beef (the mother’s again – yum). Veg. Roast potatoes. Wine. Chocolates. Coffee.
Dinner: Cocktail sausages. Pistachio nuts. Pretzels. Beer.
Breakfast: Soluble Solpadeine. Dioralyte. Half packet of chocolate fingers. Two cups of tea.
Lunch: Crunchy bread roll with turkey, stuffing, mayo & relish. The other half of the packet of chocolate fingers. Coffee.
Dinner: Nothing as of yet. Really not hungry.
Throughout the three days
Enough vodka & tonic to float an armada. Enough cigarettes to push my voice down an octave.